Positive parenting involves skills used by guardians and parents to bring up a child with the best behavior without being forceful or harsh. From an early stage in life, children are taught how to behave appropriately by exposing them to the repercussions of bad behavior and rewarding good deeds whenever they are done.  The main emphasis of positive parenting is being very clear with your children about exactly what you want them to do.  The parent sets specific and age appropriate rules and boundaries.  It is important that the parent gives the same message every time.  Consistency is key, so that children aren’t confused about what is expected of their behavior.    When a child does follow directions, the parent gives positive praise while making eye contact.  “Catch” your kids exhibiting good behavior and praise them for it when they aren’t expecting you to necessarily be paying attention. 

To get a better understanding of positive parenting, maybe we should explore the three major styles of parenting which include authoritarian, authoritative and permissive behavior.

With permissive behavior, parents give less or no concern about what their children do. Although an attempt is made to make rules, less effort is put into enforcing them. Consequently, the child finds it difficult to differentiate between good and bad behavior. A child brought up in such an environment will have problems adjusting to new environment like schools and social places including playgrounds. Parents in this category hardly appreciate good behavior and will rarely correct bad habits; the child is left to make their own discovery.

In an authoritarian environment, the parent or guardian lays out and enforces strict rules without involving the child. More emphasis is made on the repercussions of bad behavior while good behavior goes unnoticed. Although such parents use severe punishment to correct bad habits, they rarely reward the child when an attempt at good behavior is made. Children brought up in such an environment will either develop a low self esteem or become excessively violent in future.

Authoritative parenting utilizes the techniques of positive parenting. Parents involve their children when making rules and enforce them in positive ways. For instance, a parent rewards and complements the child whenever they behave appropriately. Instead of using punishment to correct bad deeds, parents seize the opportunity to discuss the consequences of such an act with the child. Punishment can be used if bad deeds are repeated but it should not be severe; instead, the parent may opt to deny the child some of their privileges until they reform.

Children brought up by parents practicing positive parenting easily fit into any environment and are generally more confident people.  They grow up with good behavior ingrained in them and are therefore capable of achieving good results in whatever they do. From the lessons given by their parents, such children portray virtues like honesty, integrity and respect. This helps them become better members of the society in future; it is not surprising to find other parents using these children as examples to their own.

Positive parenting also involves a good understanding of your child's personality. Although some children are quick to adapt, some are resistant. Taking parenting courses online at any stage in your child’s youth, will teach you these skills to raise a successful child.  They are low in cost and very convenient as you can take them from the comfort of your own home, with your spouse.  They are available online at any hour of the day and you can drop-in and out of them at your convenience.  Online parenting classes are a beneficial way to increase your understanding of how best to communicate, understand, discipline and raise your children.

Getting a divorce is considered one of the top most stressful events a person can face.  The situation can be even worse when there are kids involved and one or both of the spouses are hostile towards each other.  Whenever there is a major life change, things are bound to be difficult.  The question is, what is the best way to deal with this particular situation and keep your children’s best interests in mind.

1.Talk to your child - both you and your spouse are adults and fully responsible for the situation you are in. However, the child is caught in circumstances beyond his control and deserves better. Stay calm in the face of hostility and never vent your frustration on or at your child. Talk to him and explain that it is expected sometimes to confront hostility when two people have invested so much into each other and it doesn't work out.

2. Eliminate the feeling of guilt from the child - Explain that this has nothing to do with him; and he is free to love both parents with all his heart. Tell him in so many words that he should never feel guilty that he loves your ex-spouse. Tell him that what is happening between your ex-spouse and you is completely separate from his relationship with his parent. 

3. Resist fighting in front of the children - it is very painful for the children to see their parents screaming at one another. Resist the temptation to "give it back". Instead, stay calm and try reasoning with your ex-spouse in a conciliatory manner. If you stay calm and keep your ego out of discussion, in most cases it will be possible to persuade your ex-spouse to give in to your request.

4. Try setting up mutually acceptable rules - avoid bickering and arguing by setting up a few rules right at the beginning. It would be conducive if these rules are mediated by someone both of you respect. The rules should be focused on how best to provide emotional stability for the child/ children. Accept that there would be some degree of hostility; try your best to deal with it in a mature way.

5. The last resort is a custody case - please keep in mind that your children's emotions are very important in how they shape up as adults. Do your best to give them as much love as you can. They are resilient and understand much more than you give them credit for.  Berating your ex-spouse in front of them might make you feel better, but is detrimental to their feelings of safety and well-being.  Remember they are observing how you handle everything.  Instead focus on the positive, take the higher road and do your best to keep the legal and emotional battle out of their world.

Parenting classes online for high-conflict divorces can be extremely beneficial in this situation.  The classes will give you the support of a licensed therapist that can be reached with any questions, and the privacy and convenience of staying in your own home.  You will learn how to best deal with this intense situation without detrimentally affecting your children.

What do you do as a parent when your child will just not listen? Parents today are much less strict than in previous generations. Some parents even take it so far as to try to be “friends” with their kids rather than playing the authoritarian role.  However, this can lead to difficulties when it comes to getting your children to follow your directions when you are really serious about something. The child can become defiant because he is rebelling against your sudden change in personality, doesn’t want to do what you are instructing, isn’t used to having to follow strict rules, is over-stimulated or unsure in their environment, or in some cases because they are afraid of you.  If you find yourself the parent of an unruly child then taking parenting classes online, in the convenience of your own home and on your own schedule, might be just right for you.  Some reasons why children might become defiant are as follows: 

Reason 1 -Child Not Afraid Of Parent 

If a parent doesn’t establish authority early on, their kids end up believing that whatever they do, their parents will not be angry with them. So, when the parent decides to discipline their children, the children are surprised and don’t respond in a respectful manner.

Reason 2 -Child Afraid Of Parent 

For parents who are generally uninvolved with their kids, or overly strict, the child might become afraid of the parent.  The child feels like the parent doesn’t love him/her and rebels by being defiant. 

Reason 3 -Environment 

Your child can also become defiant from the things they see around them.  If they are around other children who are being rewarded after acting up, they might try to follow suit.  Also, be aware that you are the child’s most important role model.  If they witness you behaving in a defiant manner, they will copy your behavior.

Two Simple Tips On How To Parent A Defiant Child

-Listen To Your Child 

As parents we might not realize that we are often tuning out when our child is talking to us.  We have a lot on minds and are not focused on what the child is saying.  Children pick up on this and will feel like the only way to get your attention is to act up. 

-Never Get Irritated With Your Child

Do you best to not come across as irritated with your child. When your child starts to see you getting annoyed, they will act out. Just stay calm while they are having their tantrum, and make sure that you don't scream or get violent with them.  The more you escalate the situation, the more the child will misbehave.

Taking parenting classes online will further teach skills on how to handle a rambunctious, defiant child.  You might feel like you don’t need to take classes because you have already raised children or think you know how to handle them.  However, these courses will keep you current on the most recent parenting skills.  They are low-cost and can be taken around your busy schedule.  

OK, let me offer you an alternative perspective that will really help you see things in a different light. Shy children are often smart and acutely aware of their surroundings. They are introverts, and introverts count for 50% of the whole population. Being shy and quiet is a normal and healthy personality trait.  Einstein was shy, Marilyn Monroe was shy, and many geniuses were very happy introverts. What every parent should do first and foremost is to not value extraversion over introversion. Don't compare your child with other kids and don't force shy kids to behave in a way that they are not comfortable with.  

Some kids do exhibit a higher degree of shyness which may not be because of a personality trait, but rather because of the environment around them. For example, if there are family conflicts going on at home, like a divorce, or an alcoholic parent, then the shyness might be brought on due to the feelings of insecurity and instability.  Shy kids are often more sensitive than extraverted kids, they keep a lot of things inside, and are somewhat afraid to share them. They might be embarrassed by circumstances in their life and try to fade into the background.  In this situation, it is always helpful if a teacher or family member can step in to help the child talk about his feelings. 

When a child is quiet, it allows them more time to refine their thoughts and ideas as opposed to a child that blurts out whatever is on his mind.  You often see quiet kids come up with impressive drawings, ideas or exhibit impressive skills in manipulating objects or solving puzzles. Their "shyness" is responsible for their gifts.

Before you rush into labeling shyness as a negative trait, try to look it from this perspective first. When you appreciate shyness for what it is, only then you are qualified to parent your child. If you don't appreciate your child's way of being, he or she will feel you attitude, and won't respond to your behavior. He  will feel that you are trying to make him talk or to act a certain way, and will feel uncomfortable. Seek first to understand your child before trying to teach him what you think is best based on your own preconceived notions.

Parenting shy children shouldn't be more difficult than parenting children that are not shy. Introverts often need to feel that you are there for them, and that you understand their quiet nature. You will notice that shy children need more time of their own - give it to them. You will notice shy children thinking before talking and sizing up a situation before acting – appreciate it. Our minds are highly complex, and introvert kids are great as how they are.

As a parent, if you are feeling a bit insecure about the quiet behavior of your child, taking online parenting classes can help.  You will learn more about how to deal with different behaviors in a successful manner.  Taking the classes will benefit your child as well as put your own mind at ease. 

Every parent wants to do the best they can for their kids. We all want to make sure that our children grow up to be successful adults and are happy with the life they have made with the tools that we have given them throughout their childhood. There are many ways that parents can improve their parenting skills so they are more effective for their children.  A highly successful but maybe non-traditional way is to take online parenting classes. These classes will not take much time but it will give you the education you need to become the type of parent that you want to become.

Many parents today feel that the level of their child’s success is a direct correlation to how good of a parent they are.  They feel that the number of trophies their children win, the amount of A’s on the report card or the college they get into is directly based on how effective their parenting style is. However, many parents today seem to take the emphasis on success too far. Their child may be punished for not succeeding or they may simply ignore accomplishments that are not up to expectations, without giving any reassurance that they did a good job. This type of parenting is considered Authoritarian parenting. In this type of parenting, the parent puts all focus on the success of the child, creating strict guidelines and rules that create a stringent atmosphere. 

Authoritarian parenting is often effective in the long-run with the success rates of the child if success is measured by which college the child goes to or how high paying their career turns out to be. However, children raised in this environment will often have low self-esteem and trouble making their own decisions because their parents always made them for them.  Therefore, if you measure true success based on the person’s happiness and social well being, the statistics are different. The adult child of this strict and traditional style will likely have a successful career, but they will also rarely have a good and balanced social life with a significant other or good friends since they have spent their entire life just striving to please their parents. This style of parenting is popular in the Asian world, enforcing more work, less play and high goals.  In a recent NYT bestselling book called Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, the author discusses how her daughter was to practice piano without any sort of break for water or the bathroom until the piece was played perfectly.  

A more balanced approach to parenting is what is called the Authoritative style of parenting which combines the love and support that the child needs with the strict rules and expectation for success that is found in the Authoritarian parenting style. In this style, the child is still given support and love, even when they fail. This style has the same basic elements that Authoritarian parenting has but without the negative long-term effects. Those children who were brought up in an Authoritative parenting household are typically found to be successful adults with healthy social lives and higher self-esteem and self-worth.

Many parents feel that only "bad" parents take parenting classes but this is not the case. All parents should attend parenting classes so they can learn new techniques and hear stories about what works and what does not work when raising kids.  The world is constantly changing and so is how different parenting styles affect the way the child is brought up.  Attending online parenting classes gives good parents the tools they need to become even more effective and to create a healthy, successful home environment.