Our children are the foundation of our lives and mean everything to us. Yet, things are often not as rosy as one might hope.  Even though we might consider ourselves positive people, home life is stable and our children have numerous opportunities, we sometimes have a child that has developed a negative attitude.  As a parent, you may not be sure where this behavior is coming from but are eager to improve the way the child is behaving.  This is all part and parcel of the parenting experience and one has to swiftly adapt by being open to new techniques that enhance the development of the child. Here are four tips on how to parent a negative child with the goal of completely eradicating the behavior.

Tip #1: Guide the Child

Simply ordering the child to change their behavior will reap minimal rewards. Address the negative behavior and make your child aware that it is affecting everyone around them.  Then take the time to give examples of what is perceived as 'positive' behavior. Explain how they could have handled the situation differently and looked at it from a more positive perspective.  Parents can be role models by maintaining a positive state of mind in their daily lives.

With continued support and guidance, a child will slowly begin adapting to these changes in mannerisms. It is possible to learn new behavior, especially if it is corrected at a young age.  Most children will enjoy the positive responses they get from those around them and will slowly begin to change their attitude. 

Tip #2: Learn to Ignore at Times

This can be tough. It is understandable for parents to punish their child or scold them as an initial reaction when a child misbehaves or possesses a negative attitude.

However, sometimes it is best to simply ignore the comments, bad attitude or outburst. Of course, one should not be ignoring their child, but ignoring the child’s bad mood goes a long way in eradicating negative behavior.  Many pediatricians suggest simply walking away from the situation.  If the child notices there is no response to their temper tantrum, they will eventually adopt methods in which they receive a positive response.

Tip #3: Find the Root Cause

Children are not always straightforward with their feelings. At times, there are underlying emotions that have become the root cause for their behavior. Perhaps, the child is adapting to their parents' methods of handling anger? There are times when the child might be feeling uneasy in another part of their life and taking it out through negative behavior. These are all considerations that have to be made by parents upon noticing their child’s developing negative attitude.

Just like an adult who has had a bad day at work, children can have bad days at school. They may have gotten into a fight with a friend or are being bullied. A parent should be looking to pinpoint the underlying cause and attempting to solve the problem. Do not always take things at face value because sometimes there is more going on.

Tip #4: Give Examples of Other's Bad Behavior

It is extremely important that the lines of communication are wide open to help address this behavior.  Some children strongly respond to examples of how their behavior compares to others.  Making a comparison with another child or person can become the solution to your problem. If a child is told they are behaving like someone else, who they know is inappropriate or that no one likes to be around, they will be taken aback and attempt to change ways.

Keep in mind that the child may initially become defensive and angry in this conversation.  The point is to use this method when the behavior has gone over the line and other solutions are not working effectively.

As we all know, it is difficult to take criticism.  It will take patience and dedication to jump on the negative behavior and handle it in a calm and loving way.  To further delve into how to properly handle your child’s behavior, online parenting courses can prove to be extremely beneficial.  As adults, we are constantly reading, taking classes and trying to improve ourselves at work, online, or for other self-improvement needs.  Online classes to improve parenting skills are a low-cost, convenient and relaxed way to learn new techniques. With further education and the proper implementation, you will begin to notice positive differences in your child over time.

A Parenting Course is required by most states for parents to obtain a divorce when there are children involved.  Parents may also take this 10 hour online course for self-improvement purposes to learn about the impact divorce can have on their family, as well as the best way to handle the difficult transition.  In many divorce situations, the adults involved are so distraught and stressed about the breakdown of their marriage that the feelings of the children are not taken into account.  This class will help parents focus on the needs of the child growing up in two homes.

One of the most important aspects of good parenting is being a proper role model for our children.  Children look up to us to set the tone for how to behave.  Unfortunately, divorce can bring out the absolute worst in us and cause us to act in ways that we never would have believed we were capable of.  However, if our children see us screaming at, bad-mouthing or putting down ex-spouses, they will feel uncomfortable, stressed, and may even learn that this is an acceptable way to treat others.  Parenting classes will teach how parents should communicate with each other during this difficult time, especially while in front of the kids. 

The child’s stages of emotions during a divorce are also extremely important to focus on.  Parents must remember that this is not something they would have ever liked or wanted to happen either.  Every child dreams of having two stable and loving parents living together in single household.  Divorce throws a wrench into this plan and it is a time for the adults to have empathy for their children’s feelings.  Most likely, children will go through stages of anger, denial, worry that they somehow contributed to the situation, and they will grieve the loss of the family unit.  Parenting classes will discuss how to handle these emotions and how to talk to their children in a loving and effective manner. 

Parents will also learn how to eventually come to terms with each other and do their best at co-parenting.  Different parenting styles are discussed so that both parents can try to agree on a similar way to raise and discipline the kids to keep consistency in the two households.  Individuals will learn tips on how to create a successful dual home environment and how to split the time so that the children feel safe, loved and stable while transferring back and forth between two homes. 

There are benefits to co-parenting in a structured and positive manner.  The children can benefit from consistency when there's cooperation between both parents and they can learn that life has its ups and downs but hurdles can be met and overcome.   Proper co-parenting can show children a healthy example to follow and teach an understanding of problem solving with joint custody agreements in place. These are all strong life skills that children can take with them as they grow up and venture out on their own. 

At some point in every child’s scholastic career, they will have to start at a new school.  Sometimes it is a completely new beginning in an unfamiliar city because the family had to move, or it’s with the same group of friends but it’s time to transition from elementary school to middle school.  It can be a stressful time for kids if they don’t know what to expect, but there are some things that parents can do to help with a successful transition. 

1) If at all possible, visit the school a few weeks prior to the first day.  Walk around the campus, play on the playground, find the bathrooms, cafeteria and where the main office is.  Roam around until your child starts to feel comfortable with the setting.  If you can’t actually visit the school in advance, go online to view pictures and information written about the school.

2) Talk about the experience.  Discuss the pros and cons of what you saw.  Try to find a positive spin for any issues that may have arisen during the tour.  Work out solutions to any anxieties that came up.  For example, if the new student is concerned about how he will get from a classroom on one side of the campus to the other in a short amount of time, explain that it’s possible because hundreds of kids are successfully doing it everyday.  Maybe even go back and time it to show him it can be done.

 4) Start a routine a few weeks before school starts and stick with it.  Figure out how long you will need to get to school, and get your child to their classroom on time.  Then work backwards to find a good wake-up time.  This will also help you judge a good bedtime since getting enough sleep is key and will help your child to get acclimated to the new school schedule he will be facing.  This will help so the first week of school isn’t both an unfamiliar experience and a complete shock to the system as well. 

5) Get involved with the school at a volunteer level.  This will enable you to get a first hand look at how the principal runs things and, at the elementary level, you will get to know your teacher and the other kids in your child’s class.  It will give you the opportunity to see who you would like your child to get to know and then you can schedule play dates at your home to further help your child feel comfortable at school.

6)  Prior to this major transition in your child’s life, it can be beneficial for moms and dad’s to utilize an online parenting class.  All parents can use an update on the latest successful parenting techniques.  This is a perfect time to educate yourself and to immediately implement the new information to help your child off to the best start possible.  

Do you ever find that talking to your spouse is impossible when the kids are around?  You try to have a conversation and immediately the interruptions begin.  Sometimes it feels like they wait until the moment we start talking to ask a question or tell a story.  While it is important to remember that our children want and need attention, our children also need to understand that it is not polite behavior to interrupt when others are speaking and that sometimes your attention is needed by a friend, family member, teacher or co-worker.

Learning not to interrupt can be a difficult trait for a child to master.  Generally, when children have something on their mind, their immediate instinct is to just say it.  From the child’s perspective, you are talking to someone else so you are therefore unavailable and not focused on them.  This can cause a sense of insecurity so they try to redirect your attention back to them.  Teaching a child not to interrupt teaches them self-control, which is a positive trait they will carry with them throughout life.  

It takes a lot of patience and determination on the part of the caregiver to impart this skill and might take many, many tries.  It is important for the caregiver to stay consistent or the child will revert back to this intrusive behavior.  Some techniques to teach children to stop interrupting are as follows: 

1)  Have a conversation with your child while making eye contact, and explain to them why it is impolite to interrupt others.  Give them examples of this rude behavior and have them think about how it feels when they are interrupted.  Also discuss examples of when it is acceptable to interrupt such as if someone is hurt.

2)  Teach your child proper manners.  For example, they should stand patiently and wait for a break in the conversation at which time they should say “excuse me”. 

3)  Teach your child to signal you in a quiet manner when she has something to say.  This can be by a squeeze of your arm, or a tap on the hand.  Make eye contact with your child, or squeeze her hand back so she knows you are aware she needs your attention.  Finish your conversation and then respond to your child in a timely manner so that she knows this behavior will be successful.

4)  Practice and review this behavior with your children.  Role playing at home is a successful way to portray what is expected.  Also, be sure as a role model that you are setting a good example by not interrupting conversations.  

Keep in mind that children learn by repetition.  They need consistent, positive feedback to learn appropriate behavior. Be sure to “catch them” when they are behaving properly and give them praise and attention for there patience.  Compliment them by saying something like “Thank you for being polite and waiting for me and Mrs. Smith to finish our conversation.  Now I can help you.  What is it that you need?”

For more information on skills to use to be a better parent and how to raise a polite child, taking an online parenting class is highly recommended.  Programs are available from 4 – 16 hours in length and are low in cost.  They can be taken in the convenience of your own home and on your own schedule.  These classes are appropriate for parents of children of all ages.

Like any new, or even experienced parent, you've read about the developmental milestones your child will experience. You know what age to expect a first word, the first sentence, when the baby will begin to crawl, stand up, or walk.  If you've already had children, you might even measure the new baby's development against your other children, in terms of knowing when to expect these "firsts". But this baby surprises you. From infancy on, he or she seems very "alert". Walking, then exploring and investigating, occur at an earlier age that what you've read about or been told by the pediatrician. Perhaps the first words were a bit late in coming, but once they did, they were spoken in complete, coherent, sentences. Those toddler games and puzzles are quickly mastered, then discarded. Your child seeks to do things that are considered far beyond his or her age and ability level. Is it possible you have a gifted child?

There are certain signs from infancy on that your child might be gifted. Many of these signs may not have been recognized at the time as signs of a gifted child. In fact, they may be mistaken as signs of a fussy, colicky, baby. Your baby, unlike what seems like everyone else’s, sleeps less than what is considered average. Your sister tells you your nephew is sleeping through the night at two months of age, when your baby still wakes up after three or four hours and is nearly seven months old. The baby cries a lot, and you think "colic". Yet, when combined with early alertness and curiosity, it may simply be boredom, or sensitivity to certain things.

Gifted children, as infants, are often more sensitive to what is seen, smelled, felt, heard, and tasted. This may be manifested through a lot of crying. The gifted infant may cry when clothing "feels" bad, or a certain food you are cooking smells too strong. Yet, because they are infants, they are not yet ready to express what is wrong except through crying and fussiness.   Furthermore, they prefer the new, the unfamiliar, over items that are familiar to them. Ordinarily, a baby wants to play with the same toy over and over, or have the same book read time and again. The gifted child wants something new and different each time. Once developmental milestones are reached, often very early, the child becomes very active, though not in the sense of ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder). The activity has a purpose.

The toddler has an unusually long attention span, too. There is always new information to be found. Even though the child may begin to do simple math, and learn to read by age three, not all gifted children begin this early. While early reading and arithmetic problem solving are signs of a gifted child, their absence does not mean your child is not gifted. Even without early reading, the child may be verbally advanced, using words normally not in a toddler's vocabulary, and understanding the use and meaning of those words.

When school begins, the gifted child learns more quickly than others, and is ready to move on earlier. Sometimes, these children get in trouble in school because they've mastered the tasks given so quickly they are bored, and nothing new is given to them for learning because that would put them "far ahead" of the rest of the class. Yet, they already are "far ahead" of the rest of the class.

Discipline may be hard to maintain at times, especially if the child is very verbally advanced. He or she often uses logic to "outsmart" a parent, and can easily learn to manipulate a parent's behavior through words. The parent needs to be aware of this, and be consistent, letting the child know what behaviors are acceptable. It is also important to allow a gifted child some time alone, rather than organizing all of his or her time. This way, the child has a chance to be creative, to learn on his or her own, and grow.

If you suspect your child may be gifted, what can you as a parent do? If you are uncertain as to whether or not your child is gifted, the child can be tested. But because testing is not recommended until the child is at least age four, and before the age of eight, one option is to enroll in a parenting course online.  These classes can help the primary caregiver by teaching how to nurture your child's intellectual as well as emotional needs. By learning how best to nurture your child's intelligence, your child will grow up a strong, capable individual, able to achieve almost anything he or she sets out to do.  Taking classes online is most beneficial to stay-at-home parents as you never have to leave the kids with a babysitter.  They are a self-paced, relaxed way to learn the latest skills on how to successfully parent your different types of children.