Teaching Your Children Not To Interrupt

Do you ever find that talking to your spouse is impossible when the kids are around?  You try to have a conversation and immediately the interruptions begin.  Sometimes it feels like they wait until the moment we start talking to ask a question or tell a story.  While it is important to remember that our children want and need attention, our children also need to understand that it is not polite behavior to interrupt when others are speaking and that sometimes your attention is needed by a friend, family member, teacher or co-worker.

Learning not to interrupt can be a difficult trait for a child to master.  Generally, when children have something on their mind, their immediate instinct is to just say it.  From the child’s perspective, you are talking to someone else so you are therefore unavailable and not focused on them.  This can cause a sense of insecurity so they try to redirect your attention back to them.  Teaching a child not to interrupt teaches them self-control, which is a positive trait they will carry with them throughout life.  

It takes a lot of patience and determination on the part of the caregiver to impart this skill and might take many, many tries.  It is important for the caregiver to stay consistent or the child will revert back to this intrusive behavior.  Some techniques to teach children to stop interrupting are as follows: 

1)  Have a conversation with your child while making eye contact, and explain to them why it is impolite to interrupt others.  Give them examples of this rude behavior and have them think about how it feels when they are interrupted.  Also discuss examples of when it is acceptable to interrupt such as if someone is hurt.

2)  Teach your child proper manners.  For example, they should stand patiently and wait for a break in the conversation at which time they should say “excuse me”. 

3)  Teach your child to signal you in a quiet manner when she has something to say.  This can be by a squeeze of your arm, or a tap on the hand.  Make eye contact with your child, or squeeze her hand back so she knows you are aware she needs your attention.  Finish your conversation and then respond to your child in a timely manner so that she knows this behavior will be successful.

4)  Practice and review this behavior with your children.  Role playing at home is a successful way to portray what is expected.  Also, be sure as a role model that you are setting a good example by not interrupting conversations.  

Keep in mind that children learn by repetition.  They need consistent, positive feedback to learn appropriate behavior. Be sure to “catch them” when they are behaving properly and give them praise and attention for there patience.  Compliment them by saying something like “Thank you for being polite and waiting for me and Mrs. Smith to finish our conversation.  Now I can help you.  What is it that you need?”

For more information on skills to use to be a better parent and how to raise a polite child, taking an online parenting class is highly recommended.  Programs are available from 4 – 16 hours in length and are low in cost.  They can be taken in the convenience of your own home and on your own schedule.  These classes are appropriate for parents of children of all ages.