Our emotions play a huge part in how we communicate with our children. The way you react to a tantrum, a messy room, missed homework or your teen staying out too late can result in either resolution or increased frustration, anxiety and misunderstanding. Let’s face it; we’ve all had moments we’re not proud of when we’ve totally lost it with one of our kids. If you come at them yelling and full of rage, the situation generally escalates and the child ends up crying and shutting down, to no fruitful end. Therefore, the way you communicate with your child, from toddler to teen, is critical to creating good parenting skills and contributing to a strong relationship.

Effective communication skills help to reduce stress, build trust and create an environment where problems can be appropriately resolved. Knowing how to effectively communicate with your children is more than just talking to them everyday, it’s about having the empathy to understand what’s behind their point of view as well. Not every parent can say they innately have this ability. Improving your communication skills can and should be learned at any point in life with a basic parenting class. Like anything else, it just takes commitment, patience and practice to be successful at the most important job you will ever have.

Parents who exhibit good communication skills generally utilize all or some of the following techniques:

1. Pay complete attention to the child by turning off the radio, television or computer during the discussion.

2. Don’t interrupt! Concentrate on what they are saying and wait until they are done speaking to respond.

3. Be aware of your nonverbal tone. If you stand with your arms crossed and brows furrowed, you will send the message of anger. Relaxing your body and facial expressions will contribute to a more open atmosphere.

4. Take a minute to calm down and manage your stress level to help you respond in a clear and appropriate way. This also helps the other person to feel more relaxed.

5. Be open to compromise. Evaluate the situation. If you see that your child is truly passionate about the subject at hand, finding a half-way point can resolve the dispute in a positive way for both of you.

6. Utilize your emotional intelligence. Try to understand where your child is coming from and what is motivating their behavior before responding to it.

A parent who utilizes these tools and is very clear about what is expected of the child and what the repercussions will be if the child chooses a different path has a higher chance of molding the child’s future behavior. Another important aspect of effective communication is consistency. Once you lay down the law, stick with it so your child will understand the boundaries and know how to behave. If you waffle, the message becomes I can take my chances and see if this one of those times I can get away with it. Consistency and effective communication help children develop self-control and improve their self-esteem because they have the power over how their day life will go. To learn more about how you can be the best parent you can be, go to onlineparentclass.com for a high quality online program.

What does assertive communication mean?

Being assertive refers to the way that we express ourselves to others. Many individuals find it difficult to say no, so instead they say yes to keep the peace and not ruffle any feathers. Assertive communication is a learned pattern that allows us to break from this behavior to clearly convey our feelings in a non-aggressive, but also non-passive manner. This form of communication enables us to stand up for ourselves to explain our desires in a kind, honest and respectful way so that we don’t have to worry about insulting or hurting someone else’s feelings because of the way it came across.

It is important as a parent to learn assertiveness because it will improve your relationship with your children. Assertive communication enables you to clearly state what your needs or desires are so there is no confusion. This translates into a straightforward confidence and gives you a better chance of having your wants met. However, those who successfully practice this type of communication also understand that they may not always get what they want. Overall, people who utilize these skills are happier, have higher self-esteem and build stronger long-term relationships. They also feel less stressed because they feel empowered to get things done.

Essential Tips for Becoming Assertive

• Take deep breaths, speak calmly and make eye contact. If you feel too angry or emotional, wait until you’ve gained control.
• Use “I” statements to explain how you feel rather than the accusatory “you”. For example, “I feel like I am always cleaning this house on my own.” Instead of “This house is a mess and you just sit around watching TV!”
• Ask for exactly what you are looking for without any excuses, threats, or bad-mouthing others.
• Stay on the situation at hand. Don’t start bringing up a laundry list of items that have been bothering you for years.
• Take responsibility for your own feelings and propose a solution that you think will resolve the conflict.
• Practice saying “No I can’t add one more thing to my plate.” This replaces saying yes to everything and living life completely overwhelmed.

Like any new skill, it takes time and practice to solidify this behavior. Caregivers can learn how to attain these skills by taking a basic parenting class. Online parenting classes are the easiest way for busy moms and dads to gain the education necessary to embark on this new path. Classes can be accessed from any Internet connected computer like a PC, Laptop or Tablet and even from a Smartphone. Participants simply read through the class at their own convenience any time of the day or night. This alleviates any hassle of trying to cover childcare and enables parents to learn at their own pace. It’s an affordable and convenient way to learn.

As you develop your assertiveness with your kids, you will notice that it benefits every part of your life. You can utilize it to improve your workplace opportunities and create stronger relationships with friends and family as well!

There is no question that parenting can feel overwhelming at times. You might be the parent of a baby that won’t stop crying, a toddler that that has taken to throwing tantrums or an adolescent that won’t follow directions. After a few turbulent days, weeks or years, it’s normal for a parent to wonder if they are doing it right. As we all know, parenting doesn’t come with a manual and if you’ve grown up as an only child or someone who didn’t babysit or hasn’t been around young kids much, it can be perplexing and at times a bit scary.

If you’ve come to the conclusion that you could use some support and education in this area, it’s never too late to try a parenting class. They are helpful to take prior to the birth of your first child to give you a head start on parenting, for the seasoned parent who is looking to brush up new skills and for those who need to fulfill court requirements for a divorce or custody issue. Parenting classes aren’t meant for “bad” parents, but rather for those who are interested in learning alternative methods to the ones they are using.

Parenting classes assist caregivers, parents, and grandparents in what to expect from children at different ages and stages so that they can understand how to best address issues that arise. Many people like them because it helps to confirm if the problems they are facing are age appropriate or if additional medical attention is needed. In a 5 year study at New Mexico State University, researchers found that teen and single parents, grandparents raising grandchildren, families with a member dealing with the criminal justice system, and families dealing with substance abuse especially benefited from parenting classes. That study showed that the education helped participants to increase their level of emotional intelligence. In addition, they better understood what appropriate expectations should be and reduced the amount of physical punishment.

A course curriculum will generally cover the following topics:

• Different parenting styles
• Effective communication
• Stress management skills
• Appropriate boundaries, consequences and rewards
• Anger and conflict resolution
• How to avoid typical parenting mistakes

Parenting classes can be taken either in groups or privately at home via an online program. If you are looking for a group of moms to discuss your issues with, then a classroom setting might be your best bet. However, if you are a busy parent who doesn’t want to try to leave the family to go take an in-person class once a week, then an online program is your solution. Onlineparentclass.com is available to access from any web-connected computer device, anywhere in the U.S. and Canada. It is affordable, full of the most current research-based information and easy to use. Once you enroll, the course becomes immediately available for you to read through whenever you have free time. Participants can login and out as many times as necessary until the class is completed. This means that you don’t have to leave the kids with a babysitter or miss a weekend family outing to learn the new skills you need to help provide a more peaceful, well-balanced environment for everyone.

If you are recently separated and in the process of divorce, you have probably been introduced to the term “co-parenting”. Dozens of studies have shown that a successful divorce involving children is one in which both parents put aside their conflict and stay available to work together to raise their child. In this vain, one of the first things that parents should do when they decide to end a marriage is to jointly be honest with their kids and tell them what’s going on in an age-appropriate manner. If the child senses something is amiss but doesn’t hear exactly what it is, they will begin to make assumptions that can cause even more stress and confusion than the actual truth.

Years of research has shown that although as parents we might feel like we are destroying our children’s lives, of the 1.5 million kids in the U.S. whose parents divorce every year, only a small percentage experience serious long-term effects. There is no question that raising children between two homes can be frustrating and challenging. However, effective co-parenting has a significant effect on the outcome. Caregivers who work together to co-parent reduce the short-term feelings of anxiety, anger, shock, disbelief, and abandonment that their children are going through. These parents understand that the child’s needs are more important than their own and are able to successfully reduce the overall trauma by creating a stable, structured and consistent two household lifestyle.

Based on this knowledge, most divorcing parents today are mandated to take co-parenting classes as part of the legal process. These classes provide comprehensive education and guidance to help keep the transition as safe and supportive as possible. There are key characteristics of a successful co-parenting relationship that are vital for a positive outcome. They include open communication, consistency, and optimism, flexibility at working with change, compromise and never undermining or criticizing the other parent in front of the kids. These are all terms that might look easy on paper but aren’t always easy to adhere to, especially if there is a lot of unresolved conflict.

The easiest and most convenient way to learn the skills necessary to successfully enact these goals is to take a well-respected online co-parenting program. It is highly suggested that you don’t just go with the cheapest class, but do some research about the quality of the program. Look for one that is designed and operated by a licensed and practicing Family Therapist to insure legitimacy. Check that the company has an A+ BBB rating and that there are no additional costs to receive a Certificate of Completion to show the legal system. Enrolling in an online class enables you to stay in the quiet and comfort of your own home. It also alleviates the stress of trying to fit a weekly class into your already busy schedule and of trying to find a babysitter while you are gone. Online classes can be accessed 24/7 so you can learn while the kids are napping, at school or late at night while they are sleeping.

So, there’s no need to look at this court mandate as another hassle in your already chaotic life. Instead, get approval to take the classes online and know that the skills you learn will benefit everyone involved!

Many of us have spent the last few weeks getting our kids ready to go back to school. We’ve purchased all the school supplies, bought new clothes and tried to re-connect with friends they haven’t seen all summer. However, nerves are on edge. Will they like their teacher? Will they know anyone in their class? After a summer of sleeping in, how will we ever get up and out on time? In order to help the transition as much as possible, these are some steps that can help the process:

1. Speak freely with your child. It’s normal to feel anxious about something new, especially if you’ve moved your child to a new school. Encourage them to talk about their fears and listen closely so they know you really care. Reassure them that what they are experiencing is to be expected, and that you understand their concerns.

2. Focus on the positive. Remind them about the fun field trips, art classes or music lessons they will have in addition to their academic studies. Talk about the friends they will see. Look up the curriculum and give them some insight into the interesting things they will be learning in the new school year.

3. Be organized! Pick out the next days sets of clothes and have them ready to go. Have your child put all the school supplies he needs in his backpack or in a bag to bring along separately. Talk about what he would like to eat for a nutritious breakfast so you aren’t arguing about it in the morning. Have him help you prepare his lunch the night before so he knows what to expect and is looking forward to it. Do everything you can to prepare ahead so you’re not stressed and behind schedule in the morning.

4. Leave the house 10 – 15 minutes earlier than usual so you aren’t delayed by the crazy traffic around your school the first couple of weeks.

5. Discuss an after-school back-up plan. If you work or even if you are just running errands, there are times when you are bound to be late. If your child is too young to have a cellphone, be sure to talk to her about what to do if you aren’t there right when she gets out of class. Should she stay with the teacher? Go to the office? Walk through the scenario so she isn’t anxious about it.

6. Create a comfortable and quiet workspace that your child will do his or her homework in each night.

7. At the dinner table, ask your children what good questions they asked today. Or, what 3 things they learned. Avoid “how was your day?” This generic question will get a generic response and you’ll be left without any detailed information to discuss.

8. Remember to encourage and praise your kids! Positive reinforcement can go a long way, especially during the first couple of weeks when they are feeling so uncertain.

Online parenting classes designed by Dr. Ari Novick, Ph.D., are a great way for caregivers to learn new skills in how to handle children of all ages. Once the kids have successfully gotten through the first couple of days or weeks of school, take time for self-improvement. Look into our high quality online program today!