Our emotions play a huge part in how we communicate with our children. The way you react to a tantrum, a messy room, missed homework or your teen staying out too late can result in either resolution or increased frustration, anxiety and misunderstanding. Let’s face it; we’ve all had moments we’re not proud of when we’ve totally lost it with one of our kids. If you come at them yelling and full of rage, the situation generally escalates and the child ends up crying and shutting down, to no fruitful end. Therefore, the way you communicate with your child, from toddler to teen, is critical to creating good parenting skills and contributing to a strong relationship.
Effective communication skills help to reduce stress, build trust and create an environment where problems can be appropriately resolved. Knowing how to effectively communicate with your children is more than just talking to them everyday, it’s about having the empathy to understand what’s behind their point of view as well. Not every parent can say they innately have this ability. Improving your communication skills can and should be learned at any point in life with a basic parenting class. Like anything else, it just takes commitment, patience and practice to be successful at the most important job you will ever have.
Parents who exhibit good communication skills generally utilize all or some of the following techniques:
1. Pay complete attention to the child by turning off the radio, television or computer during the discussion.
2. Don’t interrupt! Concentrate on what they are saying and wait until they are done speaking to respond.
3. Be aware of your nonverbal tone. If you stand with your arms crossed and brows furrowed, you will send the message of anger. Relaxing your body and facial expressions will contribute to a more open atmosphere.
4. Take a minute to calm down and manage your stress level to help you respond in a clear and appropriate way. This also helps the other person to feel more relaxed.
5. Be open to compromise. Evaluate the situation. If you see that your child is truly passionate about the subject at hand, finding a half-way point can resolve the dispute in a positive way for both of you.
6. Utilize your emotional intelligence. Try to understand where your child is coming from and what is motivating their behavior before responding to it.
A parent who utilizes these tools and is very clear about what is expected of the child and what the repercussions will be if the child chooses a different path has a higher chance of molding the child’s future behavior. Another important aspect of effective communication is consistency. Once you lay down the law, stick with it so your child will understand the boundaries and know how to behave. If you waffle, the message becomes I can take my chances and see if this one of those times I can get away with it. Consistency and effective communication help children develop self-control and improve their self-esteem because they have the power over how their day life will go. To learn more about how you can be the best parent you can be, go to onlineparentclass.com for a high quality online program.