Teaching children compassion is an important part of raising a kind, responsible human being and helps them understand how to avoid conflict and work well with others throughout their life. Fostering compassion from an early age is the best way to prevent bullying behavior from ever starting. If it has already taken root, it’s one of the key components young people can learn to change their ways.
There are ways you as a parent or caregiver can encourage compassionate behavior by increasing their awareness of other’s feelings and understanding of the world around them from an early age.
1. Starting in preschool have your child collect coins earmarked for a particular charity. Talk to them about ways they can help other children by donating the money to a particular medical cause or by using the money to make blankets or hats for homeless kids.
2. Role model compassionate behavior because your kids will learn from observing your actions. This means that you should “walk the walk” by saving a stray animal, spending time in their classrooms helping the teacher or by volunteering your time at community events. When age appropriate, get your child involved in volunteering. Have them by your side handing out water to runners in a local marathon, sorting cans at the homeless shelter or spending time at an elderly facility playing games with lonely, older adults. If you have an outdoorsy child, get involved in projects that are designed to clean up the environment or repair hiking trails.
3. Talk about it as an important family value. Explain why you do things to avoid hurting other people’s feelings and provide examples. For example, we don’t pass out birthday invitations at school because we don’t want anyone to feel left out. Think about how you feel when a bunch of your friends are doing something that you weren’t invited to. Or, we don’t cut-off a child that is stuttering to get his words out, but try to patiently listen. He is doing his best and feels bad when he isn’t given the chance to speak.
4. Point out when your child is being kind. “It was nice of you to lend your scooter to your friend when I know you didn’t want to walk. ” “It was thoughtful of you to help carry your brother’s books when his wrist was broken.” The positive reinforcement teaches your child that you value and admire this behavior. Also point out when others aren’t being kind. “The way that Jason laughed at the girl when she tripped was unkind and not the appropriate way to act.”
5. Have your child participate in taking care of family pets. Children who take their dogs for a walk or feed the cat everyday learn empathy, love and responsibility.
5. Set the standards you are looking for. Be clear and provide structure from an early age about what is appropriate behavior and what is unacceptable. Explain that hitting or name calling will never be tolerated and follow through with a firm, age-appropriate punishment from the get go. If you let things slide, children learn that the appropriate behavior isn’t that important.
Giving your child the first hand experience of receiving compassion is a key way to get the point across. When your child comes home complaining about his hard day, listening and telling him that you understand his feelings makes a huge impact. It builds your relationship by opening up communication channels and teaches them how to respond with empathy to another person.