My husband and I divorced when our kids were little. They don’t really remember us together as a family and are used to spending summers and holidays at dad’s and the rest of the year with me. Their father lives in another state because of his job in the military, so they rarely see him outside of those prescheduled times. Things have been fairly harmonious over the past couple of years, but now that the kids are getting older, they are beginning to voice that they don’t want to spend their entire vacation at their dad’s. They miss their friends, their stuff and me. I’ve explained to them that their dad loves them and this is the way it has to be. Well, during their last visit over Christmas break, they apparently were sitting around sulking about being away from home. He had spent a lot of time trying to plan a really nice break for them and was offended. He vented at them with an angry outburst that scared the living daylights out of them. My older daughter immediately called me and said she was afraid. I know that kids can be overly dramatic, but since I wasn’t there to access the situation, the only thing I knew to do was to call Child’s Protective Services. Social services made a house call the next day and have advised that their dad should take some parenting classes.
I was a bit shocked since he’s been co-raising them for years without trouble, but now that I got us into this, I felt like the least I could do was find a good class for him to take. He works a lot of hours and his schedule changes from week to week. I did some research and found high quality classes online. I asked social services if he could fulfill this requirement by taking a class from his computer instead of in a classroom so he wouldn’t have to miss work to attend a class. They took a look at www.onlineparentclass.com and have agreed to allow it.
The great thing about taking an online parenting course is that once you enroll, they are available on any Internet based computer device 24/7. He can enter and exit the class whenever he has free time and the computer program will hold his last spot. He can take the class at his own pace, and at the end he will receive a Certificate of Completion that proves to social services that he fulfilled their mandate.
I know he’s annoyed about having to jump through this hoop, but I think he’ll get a lot out of it. The goal is to help parents create a stable and supportive family life by encouraging positive, healthy behavior. He’ll learn more about what behavior to expect from the kids during the different ages and stages they will go through. It’s actually really age appropriate that our middle schooler didn’t want to leave her friends during winter break this year, so he really shouldn’t take it personally.
I’m sorry that events escalated, but I know that learning news skills in listening, communication and stress management will go far. Everyone will benefit from this educational experience.