Successful Communication Tips For Parents

The number one piece of advice that psychologists repeatedly tell parents is that to insure a healthy relationship with children, listen and talk to them!  Communicating with our kids is the key to keeping a healthy relationship.  This takes time and to keep children on the right path, the best thing we can do is to be available for them.

Being available doesn’t just mean that you need to be in the house.  Working parents can have just as good a relationship with their kids as non-working parents.  It’s about paying attention to their likes and interests.  If your child is excited about a new band, then figure out who they are, what the music is and use this as a starting point for conversation.  If you show your children that you are interested in what is relevant in their lives, they will feel more connected with you. 

Try to be aware of when the best times to talk to your children are.  Some parents don’t like to carpool because they say that this time alone in the car is the best time to talk about things.  The kids aren’t distracted by homework, electronics or television and very often open up.  When they get in the car after school, don’t always start the conversation with a barrage of questions.  You might just get yes or no answers and be left unsatisfied.  Instead, initiate conversation with what you’ve been thinking about or doing that day.  This tactic can be feel more relaxed and get them talking.

Most importantly – listen!  Your child might get in the car everyday and start complaining about a list of things.  Don’t tune out, but instead listen carefully to what is bothering them.  Are they cranky because they’re just not getting enough sleep or is there a legitimate issue going on.  Don’t interrupt them.  Let them talk until they are ready for a response from you.  At this point, try to temper your response.  If you come across as abrupt, agitated or angry, they will shut down.  Take a deep breath and try to respond in a non-critical way, calm way.  Children will mirror your behavior, so if you start to act anxious by the conversation, this will most likely raise their stress level as well and in turn create an unstable, high-strung environment.  Your child might stop wanting to confide in you because of this negative behavior.

For many parents, sending children back to school at the end of the summer can be a stressful time.  Kids are anxious about seeing old friends, getting new teachers and what exactly will be expected of them.  Parents get anxious trying to meet all the new schedules of carpools and after school activities combined with whatever daily responsibilities they already have.  It may be difficult to think about adding one more thing into your schedule, but taking parenting classes can really help through difficult times.  You may be a seasoned parent, but quality courses are always beneficial because they are full of the most current parenting tips.  The teach how to best communicate with your children, what stage related behaviors to expect, how to set appropriate boundaries and rules and what the best ways are to offer rewards for good behavior.  Taking parenting classes online is perfect for those of us who are extremely busy.  All you need is an Internet based computer and you can take them from the comfort of your own home.  You can drop-in and out of the classes at any time during the day or night, whatever works best for your schedule.  It is a great way to refresh your parenting habits and gain confidence in how you are handling your kids.