There are a variety of reasons why a parent or caregiver might want to take a parenting class. For some it’s because they are first time parents and want an idea of what to expect. Others are already well seasoned with a number of children but just want to touch base on the most recent expert advice, or they want to change the dynamics of their household. Poor parenting skills can contribute to unneeded stress. Furthermore, some new parents take the classes because they are about to adopt or become foster parents and for many it’s because they have been court ordered as a requirement of their divorce. Lastly, a number of our parenting class clients come to us during divorce proceedings not because the judge has already mandated they take classes, but as a proactive measure because their attorney is helping them to build a strong child custody case so they can be a bigger influence in raising their kids.
One recent example of this comes from a client that recently called explaining that she wanted to take our advanced parenting class over the weekend in preparation for an upcoming court hearing. She and her husband were going through a nasty divorce and he was trying to hurt her by asking that the kids live with him full time. She felt like he had absolutely no grounds for this and even more ridiculous was that he worked long hours and would have to hire a nanny to actually handle the kids. It was just vindictive. She said she moving forward by doing everything possible to look good in the eyes of the court, including taking this class.
When custody issues arise, the courts will consider a number of factors that contribute to what is in the best of interest of the children. Some of these include their age, the ability of each parent to provide a stable home, how the children will be affected if the current situation is disrupted, the children’s wishes and the quality of the parent/child relationship to this point. They will look at what the involvement of each parent has been and would continue to be.
Generally, your attorney will work with you to get you prepared to have appropriate etiquette in front of the judge. This means speaking calmly and rationally, avoiding any emotional outbursts or interruptions and answering questions respectfully, honestly and directly. The judge will expect you to come prepared with all the appropriate financial documentation, custody requests and even a co-parenting plan. Many parenting classes include a lesson on how to go about setting-up a co-parenting plan.
As our client explained, her attorney told her that sitting and hoping for the best isn’t enough. She should do whatever she could to improve herself and the lifestyle that she could provide for her kids. This meant everything from getting them to places on time, keeping a safe and clean home and getting a job if possible. It also meant showing the judge she was really serious about her requests for custody by taking parenting classes for self-improvement purposes.