How To Minimize The Impact Of Divorce On Children

Divorce rate statistics in the United States show that the breakup rate for a first marriage hovers between 41% and 50%.  The rate for second marriages is 60% and 75% and for third marriages it’s around 73%.  The children of divorced parents have a four times higher rate of getting divorced in their lifetime then do children of parents who stayed together.  Unfortunately as these numbers point out, not all relationships have storybook endings. Couples grow apart, fall out of love, have affairs or find that they are no longer compatible with each other any longer. The thought of divorce that would never have crossed their minds years ago is now a process that they have to go through to move on with their lives. 

The process of getting a divorce and creating two separate households is much more complex when children are involved.  Sometimes the kids may be thankful, after living through years of watching their parents argue and disagree about everything.  However, some children might be devastated by the news and think they have done something wrong to make this happen.  Most children will go through an initial period of shock, sadness, and anger.  They might also begin to suffer from low self-esteem, depression and anxiety. 

Once the decision has been made to follow-through with a divorce, parents should be hypersensitive to the feelings of their children.  During this period, parents are often stressed and angry and vent their feelings inappropriately in front of the kids.  Fighting about matters such as who gets primary custody, visitation rights and financial settlements in front of the children will only cause them more pain and suffering. Arguing parents can forget or be unaware that little ears are paying close attention.  Most importantly, remember that children need to be reassured that they are still loved.  Spend time with them, talk to them and make sure they understand that your love for them will be forever. 

Taking co-parenting classes during this time is highly recommended.  They are inexpensive and you can find high quality courses that are designed by licensed and practicing family therapists.  They are filled with the information that divorcing parents need to know about how best to handle their children during this difficult time and how to work together as a team.  Parents can minimize the impact of divorce by learning the proper techniques to help the kids get past insecurities about the situation.

Online parenting classes for divorce are a convenient form of education.  Parents don’t have to leave the privacy of their own home.  Upon payment, the class is immediately available and can be taken any time of the day or night at your convenience.  Nothing needs to be printed out; it’s all right there on the screen in front of you.  A certificate of completion is available once the course has been successfully finished.  This is the documentation that is presented to the court system if the class has been mandated as part of the divorce settlement.