Families come in all shapes, sizes and colors. It might be a traditional family with a mother and father, a stepfamily, a single-parent family, co-parenting by sharing custody of the children, or one with 2 moms or 2 dads. Regardless of the specifics, successful families thrive on creating a positive atmosphere. Studies show that working to create a good family relationship is the best thing that parents can do because it makes children feel more secure, loved and have greater self-esteem.
Some of the critical key components to establishing a caring, loving and strong family are as follows:
1. Placing a high value on family unity. In a strong family, priorities are established that emphasize members of the family come first, then work and other responsibilities. The family sticks together, each person is important and people do not hold grudges that destroy relationships, but forgive each other for common mistakes. There is give and take with an overall common goal. Family traditions are established, celebrated and held dear.
2. Effective communication. Members spend time listening and talking to each other about things big and small. No topic is off the table.
3. Encourage each other with praise. They vocalize their appreciation for one another and try to be non-judgmental. This includes daily acts of consideration like thanking members for cleaning up the kitchen or filling the car up with gas. The home is established as a supportive safety net for times of individual failure or sadness, as well as a place to find each other’s biggest fans.
4. Loyalty. Family members don’t listen to gossip outside their unit. They stick together and support each other during bad times and good. They have each other’s back.
5. Work together as a team. Family rules and guidelines are established so everyone is clear about what is expected. Household chores are shared so everyone feels included. Appropriate and inappropriate television, movies, books and video games are discussed. Parents ask for and include their children’s opinions when making some of the decisions that affect everyone.
6. Spend time together. Strong families make it a priority to eat meals together, go on mundane errands, relax, exercise and go on fun outings as a unit. They don’t let peer pressure take over but instead make a point of spending quality time together even as the kids become teenagers.
7. Conflict resolution. Everyone acknowledges that each member is unique and has his or her own personality and interests. Everyone doesn’t have to act or think in exactly the same way, but when members don’t get along, they communicate differences in a respectful manner. Members learn that they can’t always “win” and they learn to share and compromise to get over daily obstacles.
8. Strong parental role models. The caregivers in successful families set the tone to guide members on a positive moral path. This includes contributing to the local community, becoming involved in church or temple related activities, and displaying acts of honesty and kindness. These parents “walk the walk” because they know their children are watching everything they do.